the apartment trio or FF CRACK
by gunner-yuna-x2
Summary: yuna wins a fancy apartment but is too ditzy so she invited paine and yuffie to stay! lots of embarrassing moments and a bar! written by a trio so wont update much. parings are YxT,PxB, and YxV! len len Paine,court yuffie,and i yuna!


Yuna and Paine are in a food court eating Mexican food, when Yuna receives a call on her cell phone…

Lazy Cakes song plays on Yuna's cell phone

Yuna awnsers her cell, "ello?"It was yuffie. "hey yunie!guess what!?"

"oh,hey yuffie. What is it?"

"look behind you!"

Yuna look over to her right. "ewwwwwww! A stalker!"

" your other behind you!"

Yuna then looks to ler left. "AHHHHHHH! YUFFIE!!! Paine look! Yuffies back!!!!" "I see yuna, now calm down" paine told her in her usual tone.

" Buuuuuuuuuut paaaaaaiiiinnnnneee!! Its yuffie! Yuffies back!!"

" YUNA! I can see that! Now calm down now!" paine trades yunas real guns for bubble guns without her noticing.

Yuffie orders some Mexican food then sits down with the gang. "so whats happened while I was gone for a month?" she asked with the usual shine in her eyes of excitement. "oh! Guess what!?" yuna says. "what?" yuffie replies

"Three nights ago, I walked past this guy and he told me to fill out this piece of paper, so I did. Then he told me to put in this box, so I did. And this morning I got this piece of paper in the mail. Read what it says Paine!

Paine rolls her eyes and clears her throat. "Dear Yuna, We are pleased to inform you that you have won the title to own the presidential suite at our new hotel. It is yours to do with as you please. Please call our offices if you have any questions or concerns or would like to rent out the suite. If you choose to rent out the suite, then any profits made from it go to you. Signed, Xof Irikak." She looks at yuna. "What the hell!?!?! When did you do this???"

"One night when I was drunk! He was dressed all fancy and talked all fancy so I did as he told me to do. Also before that night I net this guy at a bar and it was so AMAZING! But when I woke up he was gone……I was on the edge of the river bank too!"

": did you have your clothes on yuna?" yuffie asked suspisously.

"yes" yuna replied.

"good, Ugh well, it's legit, so I guess you own a presidential suite Yuna. You won a whole new apartment." Paine added.

"Is it better than my old apartment?" yuna asked.

"Of course it is! It's so pretty and bigger!" yuffie said over exaggerating.

"Is it on the floor below the laundry room and drips all the time, especially on my bed?"

"No, it's the top floor of the building." Paine said stiffly.

"That's a lot of walking." Yuna says after thinking a moment.

"Well, there is the elevator so you don't have to do all the walking." Yuffie added

"YAY!"

They all throw away their food and go into the building. Yuna sees the broken down elevator and is upset. "Awwwwww man!!!" yuna starts running up the stairs. Yuffie and Paine see the elevator start working as Yuna is out of sight. "Score!" they both say getting into the elevator. The elevator reaches the top floor as Yuna reaches the top of the stairs to her floor.

"Hey…. How did you….. Get up here without….. the stairs?" yuna says panting.

"The elevator was fixed after you left." Yuffie said.

" Darn! So, uh, which door is mine?"

"There's only one door Yuna. That door is yours." Paine said pointing at the only door down a long hallway.

" But it's so far away!"

"There's these scooters!" yuffie said bring out scooters.

"yay!" yuna says hopping on a scooter and skate toward her room. Paine and yuffie fallow her on their scooters.

"It's not going to play music if I touch it will it?" yuna said reaching the door.

"I honestly don't know." Paine said.

"Okay." Yuna says before she touches the door.

" Safe!" yuffie says.

"Rock on!" yuna says then touches the doorknob and it starts playing music. "Awwwww man!"

Suddenly a random dude appears and says "You can set the music to whatever song you want."

"Yay!" yuna says as she sets the music to her theme song(real emotion by jade). "now its good!"

Yuna and Yuffie go inside the suite

Before going in paine sets the doorbell to gay boyfriend by the hazards. Yuna points to the hot tub and says "look! A pool!"

"Yuna, dear. That's a hot tub." Yuffie says.

" Oh"

"Come here Yuna." Paine said across the room by the window. Yuna goes over to the window as paine points down and says " the pool is way down there yuna."

"Wow…"

Yuffie says while getting out a hover scooter " Yuna look! It's a hover scooter!"

" What's it do?"

"You can go up and down the stairs or wherever you want to without walking." Paine added.

" Isn't that what the plane-thingy is for?"

" That can't come inside the building but you can use the hover scooter inside." Paine added again.

" Yay!"

Yuffie in the room spied something shiney and pounced on it yelling "MINE!!!!!". The object ended up being a piece of tin foil which she folded into a star and shot it at the wall as it gets stuck in the wall from sharpness. "ITS MINE! You cant have it!" yuffie repeats again.

Yuna then turned toward the girls and gave a pouty face. "what do you want now yuna?" paine asked. " I wanna hug her" yuffie said then paine stopped her. " I dotn wanna be all alone here! Can you guys live with me please??????" yuna asked with chibi eyes. "hell yeah!" yuffie said. " ill think about it later" paine added.

Gay Boyfriend starts playing and Yuna and Yuffie start dancing

" Uh Yuna…" paine said trying to break her friend free.

Yuna continues to sing and dance with yuffie.

" Yuna…"

Yuna hasn't heard and continues.

Paine then grabs yuna and whacks her upside the head saying "Someone's at the door! Go answer it!"

Yuna breaks free of her current state and answers the door.

Vincent is at the door

": is Yuffie around?" Vincent asked as yuffie hides behind the bed.

" she is behind my bed" yuna said cheery with a smile.

"traitor!" yuffie yells from the bed.

": just be back with her by nine" paine says staring coldly into vincents eyes now seeing they both have red eyes as yuffie sulks.

"don't worry! I bet he gots some shiney things on him Yuffie……." Yuna said trying to cheer up her friend.

"YAY!!!!!!!" yuffie says before glomping him. They leave shortly after.

10 PM

Yuna is unpacking while Paine is listening to music on her mp3 player when the door bell rings again and Gay Boyfriend plays again as Yuna dances again. Paine whacks her upside the head and Yuna answers the door

Yuffie and Vincent are at the door

"where have you two been?" paine said getting up and turning off her music.

" YAY! I stole his gun, and his shoes, and his claw, and his necklace, and…" yuffie continues to ramble on.

"and I want them all back too" Vincent said in his usual monotone voice.

" come and get 'em!" she challenged.

"don't worry, I wont be leaving without them"

" if you guys are gonna do that, might I suggest another room?" paine added smartly.

": GEEZ! What do you think I am!? Some kind of tramp!" yuffie said in shock.

Paine looks her up and down before saying "yes"

"….." goes Vincent with shirty eyes.

Yuna then comes out singing respect by pink.

" how do you know that song?????" paine asks in surprisment.

"ummmmmm" yuna has shifty eyes "a friend….."

Yuffie glomps yunie then pins her to the ground so she cant move saying "what friend?" then giggles.

" no particular friend…….."

": yeah right" paine adds sarcastic.

" c'mon yunie! tell us!" yuffie says with impatience

" never!"

Paine points her blade into yunas face over yuffies head saying "tell damnit!"

Yuna: squeaks then squirms to free herself.

" your not getting away that easy!" yuffie says.

gay boyfriend plays

" ill get it!" yuffie says as she jumps off yuna but paine smacks her upside the head and gets the door instead.

" keep her there!" paine said answering the door. "….. who are you?"

wakka and tidus are at the door with a blitzball

"yo! Yuffie! Wanna play?" wakka asks.

both guys look in and mouths drop seeing yuffie on yuna.

" maybe well just stay!" wakka say as he tries to enter but paine draws her blade.

Yuna sees tidus and says " OMG! It's the guy from the bar!!!" then faints.

"DAMN! Now we'll never know!" yuffie pouts and gets up, and goes over and hugs wakka " hi wakka, hi tidus, whats up guys?"

" im just gonna leave-" tidus started before paine draws her blade toward him.

" never mind" he says fast with wide eyes.

" why do you want to leave so soon tidus?" yuffie said while acting cutesy.

"no big reason…." He said

" yeah I bet" paine said sarcastic

" go on in brudda! Theres chicks in there!" wakka said while encouraging his friend to enter.

tidus gulps then enters fallowed by wakka whom smacks him on the back laughing.

Yuffie giggles. "don't mind yunie!" she grabs yuna by the arms and drags her into the bathroom.

you hear fergalicious playing

"Sorry! I was just turning on the shower!" yuffie shouts.

" ………" goes everyone.

Suddenly everyone hears a giant splash and yuna scream as yuffie runs out of the bathroom laughing.

" YUFFIE!!!!!!!!!!!" yuna yells

Paine sighs then says "what did you do this time yuffie?"

" I threw yunie in the bathtub and she woke up" she said with a giggle.

Yuna comes out all soaking wet, you can see threw her white top so she is covering up with her arms and her long red ponytail.

" When I get a new shirt on your going down yuffie!!!!" yuna says aggravated.

The guys blush and paine whacks them upside the head. Yuna goes to enter her room but the door wont open.

"what the-" yuna goes as yuffie giggles.

"just wait yuffie…..just wait.." yuna said under her breath.

" oh, im so scared" yuffie said while sticking her tongue out.

yuna starts to go after yuffie until paine goes between them.

" Vincent, why don't you take yuffie somewhere" paine suggested.

" again?" Vincent asked.

" nevermind…." Paine says aggravated.

Yuna goes up to tidus and winks then says " hey, do you mind helping me get into my room?" with a giggle.

"ummmmmmm" tidus says with a blush "ok…"

tidus takes a screwdriver he found and pops the lock to open

"thanks!" yuna says as she winks at him again then goes to her and changes shirts.

Yuffie then exclaims "I know!!!!!!!!! Lets go to the bar!!!!!!!or a club!!!!!!!!!"


End file.
